Unhappiness Comes Down To ThisPosted: November 27, 2012
Self-abuse is deeply rooted in not believing you deserve any better. I see people who make really poor choices in personal relationships, friendships or otherwise. Heck, I have been one of those people. Emotionally abusive relationships, mediocre relationships, the ones where you put the other before yourself and end up tolerating way too much bullshit because you don’t know you deserve better. Eventually, these relationships will lead to one of two things. One, you will start to abuse yourself by drinking, drugging or whoring out when you don’t want to. Or you become depressed, bitter and jaded. Two, you become an angry, selfish, manipulative bastard who takes it out on others and is only concerned with his/her Ego. Either way, you are in trouble. Because at some point you will have to face unpleasant consequences and/or be forced to make a change.
Deep down you are petrified of being alone.
Loneliness is only unbearable when you crave outsides sources of affirmation, validation and reassurance that you are worth something, that you matter. That if you die tomorrow, your life would have meant something. We crave meaning but search for it in the wrong places/things/people. All this ends up confirming a nagging doubt that we are unlovable.
By choosing the wrong people you choose the loneliness that is inherent in addictions, self-abuse, anger or selfishness. Logically you know this but you are too weak to face your fears, too attached, too scared, too comfortable.
The good news about your unhappiness being a choice is that you can make a different one.