Posted: November 22, 2010 Filed under: personal goals | Tags: divorce, happiness, NC, self-care, stress, therapy
My friend Amy today said something very powerful that I think accurately encompasses human suffering. She said: “I’m stuck between an immovable object and an unstoppable force”
This got me thinking. How does one even begin to get unstuck?
First, are you aware of the dynamics of your situations? What is the immovable object? Your job? Your family? Your physical health? Your own brain? We need structure in our lives. Immovable objects provide structure to us. Immovable objects provide safety, predictability and organization. Like good logic, they ground us. But the very structures that fulfill our basic human need for safety can sometimes become the bane of our existence. Especially when we feel that we can’t change them.
Whether you can move the immovable wall or not, you can ALWAYS change your perception of it. And you can almost always change some aspect of it. If your job is a wall, what’s behind it? What are you not seeing? Where would it lead you if you made an opening? Like a door? Or a window?
Secondly, who is the unstoppable force? And why is it aiming for the wall? Is it the natural flow of life? Is it your ambition? Are your ever increasing family needs crashing onto an ever “immobile” financial situation? Is your heart and soul the force that always crashes onto your logical mind?
It is not uncommon for a moving force to be attracted by an immobile object. Why? The immobility of one feeds the power of the other and visa versa. The power of the force is so overwhelming it needs to crash, preferably into something immovable. I believe that everything is guided by the principle of balance. The wall secretly wants to move and the force secretly wants to slow down. Because this is the only way out of extinction: through transformation. The passion in your heart can be so strong it can burn your soul if it doesn’t meet with a strong mind. But once they meet, they are both changed forever.
Getting unstuck sometimes means letting the balancing forces of the universe and the human experience, run their course even if it means crashing.